B.O.

I was out the other night and someone took their shoes off in the restaurant. Who the hell does that? Let me tell you something, if your B.O. smells worse than your ass , you have a serious problem. If your B.O. smells worse than a field of steaming cowshit , you dont need a shower. You need a exorcist cause you're possessed by the demon of funk. By the way, brush your damn teeth. Im tired of people talking to me when their breath smells like ass. No thats a insult to ass everywhere. Gay guys breath dont even smell that bad and they kiss ass everyday.

Coronado Clowns:Part 2

Delbert: Youre a wannabe playa , you couldnt even get a bitch in bed if you put a gun to her head , any bitch would rather be dead than fuck you. By the way, I fucked your girl the other day she said she was glad to find a man with a dick she could see now she wants to marry me. Youre the gay Dr Dre . You said you sucked Suges dick. Youre a joke , youre always broke cause you smoke your money away. You tried to be a pimp but you aint got no bitches so you tried to pimp yourself but noone bought it. Mike: You take up too much space , you wake up every day with Veras pussy around your neck. You told the bitch that I like her . Heres the truth , I only went to see the bitch when she was in the hospital cause you was driving. While you were hugging and kissing the bitch I was looking at the nurses ass when they pass by but I never gave a fuck if the bitch was laid up in the hospital. I dont give a fuck how many nights the bitch spends dreaming she was sucking my dick and I dont give a fuck if the bitch spends a million nights with her arm in her pussy dreaming I was fucking and I dont give a fuck if the bitch wakes up screaming I was stuck in her. Didnt you ever think it was weird that the bitch had a muthafucking beard? My bad Mike I forgot you like transvestites and I also forgot that youre the same faggot that used to dress in drag and suck his dads dick. Jimmy: I know you need attention cause I saw where you threatened yourself on your door in crayon you tried to lie and say it wasnt you but I saw you write it but I never said it til now , your secrets out now the world knows youre a pathetic piece of shit whos never seen a clit that wasnt your sisters. You said your moms ghost talks to you but I think you just lost your mind but dont worry , it wont be hard to find cause youre sitting on it. You wrote your number on the bathroom wall , maybe its cause your brains so small but you might have someone call if you wrote your number in a place where youre not the only person sees it. You said you used to work on movie sets . I saw you on the set once. You were looking in the trash and security beat your ass and you shit your pants and started to dance then you took off your pants and started asking people if they wanted to see you pee then you tried to pee on security. You let women take your money cause your dumbass thought you would get some but they take your money and run. You follow Tasha around like a fucking puppy . What you doing Jimmy? Im waiting for Tasha to fuck me. Jimmy, why you always try to get my sloppy seconds? Ill tell you something you'd never know. Tasha has a scar on her back from when she got burned . Shes a freak in the sheets. She gives good head. You heard what I said. Oh I forgot to mention her tattoos. She made me crazy , had my dick looking like a statue. Happy: Redneck muthafucker , drink more piss than Chicago and all the other $2 whores at the hotel. I know I just dissed you but you probably thinkin' oh well cause you so smashed you passed out in the trash . You cant get up and you try to sit up and you shit your pants . You raise your hand up , I think I had too much to drink , can someone help me stand up? And you split your pants. I mustve ate too much and gained weight cause these pants used to fit. You fucking fatass piece of trailertrash I know youre probably busy fucking a sheep or is it youre busy sucking your brother bucks dick. I dont give a fuck bitch. You said your mom was a actress . Youre right she acted like it was painless when I stuck my stainless in her mouth and pulled the trigger and the bullet popped out her mouth and she said We used to do that down south. Well that explains where her brain went. Lets take a look back at everyone Ive talked about. You got dick suckin Delbert got his ass beat by Vanilla Ice , twice. He got jacked outside a crackhouse by a midget and a mouse. You got Mike the manbitch trying to pretend hes rich , on weekends he spends all his money at the casino then he plays hide the peepee with a shemale named KiKi. You got David the trick . You can find him in his room trying to suck his own dick. He has a fro so big planes get stuck in it at midflight . You'll see him on the corner at midnight trying to get a 85 year old crackwhore outside the liquor store. You got Tricky Jimmy. The biggest trick in LA with the smallest dick in the world. Girls lie size does matter , why you think no ho wants the leadoff batter? You cant get a slut to fuck you if they cant find your dick. They see their not blind . Your dick is too small. No not all men have one ball thats just you. You got Mr I...I..I Said , walkin round speaking arabic telling people you a terrorist just so you know Ill never hesitate to put a bomb in your mom and detinate it . I know you like to blow shit up so go blow yourself or lock yourself in a gas chamber for the remainder of your life and forget where you put the key. Cant you stupid muthafuckers see you cant fuck with me? You got Slappy Happy, Living in his van . Man you see him without a can in his hand. Ask him what hes doing and he says , moving. Punk gets drunk and tries to fuck a skunk, puts his cock in a crockpot and learns it really burns and his dick turns blue and he tries to screw his dick into a light socket, now he carries his dick around in his pocket. You stupid muthafuckers need to open your eyes and realize that you fuckin with the baddest muthafucker alive. Delbert said last summer was a bummer cause he broke his cucumber off in his assand sat on broken glass . Now hes choking on a dick for money so he can smoke some grass.

Coronado Clowns:Part 1

This is dedicated to all the people who've pissed me off. Delbert: Probably thought I wouldnt talk about you ,huh? Thats cause youre a stupid muthafucker and youre a cocksucker . Oh dont act like you dont know what Im saying . Im saying youre gay and you suck Mike's dick. You sick trick. You cant get a real woman cause you dont got a dick so you gotta get a midget but after a while and you cant make them smile , they start to throw fits , Bitch when you gonna grow a dick? You supposed to be a man but you got a clit. You said you ran with hoover but I know people in hoover and I asked them and no one knew ya. Youre the type of sick muthafucker who would dig up Biggie Smalls just to lick his balls. You told Gee that you was strapped then you pulled out a strap on and he tried to run but Said jumped on him then yall started t screw him with the rubber dick then his crew showed up and yall ran away trying to spray them with mase and shooting a cap gun and screaming like fake bitches you are but it was kinda funny cause you bitches were too fat to fit in your car. Youre so gay you chase people in your car just to watch them run away. Mike: Nobody wants to be like Mike a 450lbs midget rollin a stolen jeep, couldnt get laid nomatter how much he paid even though he lives in a crackhouse with every crackwhore in LA , they pay him to go away. Tellin people you'll protect them against me , muthafucker , cant you see Im a machine ? You cant faze me . I was born crazy. The only ass you beat is Delberts when you fuck him everynight so dont talk shit , Tiny Tim. You dont wanna piss me of cause Ill rip off your head and make you kiss your own ass. I dont give a fuck what you claim to be , All you fake muthafuckers are the same to me. David: Stop calling yourself Dangerous D cause you're just a black Bruce Lee wannabe. 4 foot fro everynight people hear you screaming cause you stick your dick in the game slot on your xbox.Jimmy: You said you had family in new york but the truth is your family is in the trailerpark. The proof is in the puddin and youre trailertrash so thats all the proof I need. You got a picture of your sister on your arm cause shes the only ho you know that'll fuck you. I gave you the collection of pictures of all the bitches Ive fucked cause I knew thats the only way you'll ever see a bitch outside your family naked. You try to buy that ho Chicago but she dont want you trick, you gave her $100 to suck your dick and all she did was tie your shoe and walk away , they found you a hour later against the wall in the hall with a 500lbs transvestite begging you to let go his dick. A week later you married shim but its kinda sad that your wife has a bigger dick than you. You smoke more crack than Chicago licks nut sacks. Said: I...I...I know you're kinda slow but by now you should know you owe the rent on the office cause I...I...I dont work with you anymore I....I....I know youre probably wondering why so I...I...I will try to explain it, Youre 900lbs , you shake the ground so everyone hears you when you come around , Youre fat , youre lazy and youre crazy. Plus, I think you ate a cat cause youre always choking like youre choking on some hairy balls. I...I...I saw you fuckin' Peaches in the hallway , it makes sense to fruits fuckin eachother, I heard you fucked her brother. I...I...I got to be honest with you I..I...I would never cast your fatass in my movies cause they dont make camera with the magical ability of making it look like your fatass would actually fit on the screen , you know what I..I..I mean. I..I..I say youre just a 900lbs gay hippo . You said youre Osama's cousin but he aint from the ghetto so I...I..I say you Lie, Lie, Lie. I..I..I heard you met him once and he told you to leggo his eggo cause you lie, lie,lie. You said you know alot about real estate yet you live on skidrow and work security at a crackhouse. You said youre from Egypt but the truth is youre just a fat guy from Ohio. I..I...I heard someone sold you a volvo but I..I..I wont ride with you so I...I..I will drive cause I..I..I want to stay alive.

Your Girl

I know you were wondering where your girl was lastnight. She was with me . What did we do? Well Im not proud of what I did.Honestly I cant even put into words how I felt when I realized what she looked like. Well my dick tried to run and hide. I woke up next to her and I thought I was in a nightmare and couldnt wake up. Thats why I destroyed the sex tape . I couldnt have anyone finding out I did her. Honestly , it was the worst sex Ive ever had . She bit my dick . She asked me to do her in the ass and she shit on my dick. She pissed in my bed . I aint into that golden showers shit . Honestly, why would anyone do her twice?

Things change

I didnt care that you killed you little brother when you accidently sat on him and he smothered. I didnt care that your mother had another set of genitals. It didnt bother me that your mother was also your father. When you were my girl you were my world but things change. I know you dont know yet so Ill let you know whats been going on since you been gone. Ive been fucking your sister for the last month. Im not gonna lie I was only with you to get to her. I guess you want reasons or excuses. I would give you the its not you its me thing but its not me , its definitely you. Everything you say or do makes me wanna strangle you. Plus , your sister is alot better in bed. Letting your sister move is was your idea so dont blame me , blame yourself. By the way, your sister is pregnant. Im not gonna apologize. I know you're mad finding out like this but your sisters got the best pussy Ive ever had so I really dont give a fuck. Oh and dont bother coming home when you're done in Chicago cause I took your shit to your moms house.

Gay people

Ive never understood gay people . I mean how does that happen? I mean when you're born do you go " Hey I just came out the pussy , I think Ill spend the rest of my life playing hide the salami in someones ass". I understand why women are into other girls but Ill never get why men are into men. I mean its like , Hello Steve, My sister wants to go out with you, Uh, No thanks John, I think Id rather ram my rod up Jasons poopshoot. I have a cousin whos a member of fairyland. I like to call him and say shit that I know is gonna piss him off. Hey, your ass called and its taking visitors. Hey, Theres a new study that says the cure for diarrhea is really simple, all you gotta do is take the dick out of your ass. Hey, what walks on all fours and carries balls in its mouth ? A gay guy at a orgy. When gay people are born , do they come out gay? I mean when a gay person is born, is cher playing in the background? Do gay babies gossip with eachother about gay baby things? Do gay babies make fun of how their parents dress? When gay babies cry, does it sound like a broadway musical? When a gay baby shits , does it look and smell gay? I was talking to my uncle once and I was joking around and I asked him, If you had a choice would you pick a gay son or a straight son and he replied, if you caught a gay fish , would you throw it back? I guess my point is people cant choose who they are and theres nothing wrong with rainbows and unicorns , whatever the hell that means.

Native americans

My mom is cherokee so people ask me if I go to indian casinos . I dont but I do go to alot of the family reunions which are always fun because I give everyone nicknames like they used to in the old days. Theres my cousin Small Dick, my sister Spread Eagle, My gay cousin Peter Eater, my uncle Skid Mark, my fat sister Miss Piggy, my virgin brother Hairy Palms, my coward brother in law Chief Chickenshit, my trouble making sister Bitch Who Lies, my farmer cousin Okey Dokey aka The Sheep Fucker. Now as you can probably tell I get into trouble everytime I go around my family because I always have jokes. This one time I saw my uncle in his full get up including a animal on his head. I said "Hey uncle, how fast was that coyotee going when it hit your head? " He got mad and started to walk away and I said "Hey uncle, think of it this way, that coyotee is dead but atleast it still looks better than that thing on Donald Trumps head" Have you ever seen a indian sing in the shower? When my family get mad at me and start to walk away I always go 1 little 2 little 3 little to which they reply with "One big ass" and I reply with " Yeah I got a big ass but more importantly I have a big dick" I like to get my family to sit in a circle when they piss me off and I get the fattest ugliest girl I can find to naked in the middle of the circle and I get a bunch of fat men to surround the circle and dance naked so my family has to suffer thru watching the girl or if they turn around they get smacked in the face with a dick. Have you ever seen a indian dance? Have you ever walked on hot coals? Me neither but I did someones hot wife once . Yeah everything was cool til her husband walked in wearing a teddy and holding a dildo.

women and the truth

Why cant women handle the truth? You ask me a question then you get mad when I give you a honest answer. Does my butt look big in these jeans? Let me think, Should I lie so the crazy bitch wont cut my dick off while Im sleeping or should I tell the truth so I can find my dick being served up for dinner tomorrow? No baby, you're butt is beautiful its the 50 pounds you've gained since I met you that Im worried about. By the way, I know shes your but you gotta keep that thing out of my bedroom cause the next time I wake up and see her staring at me Im gonna have the ugly little shit audition for the next horror film I do cause she scares the shit out of me everytime I see her. Why is it women cant tell the truth about cheating? If you surf the internet you'll see someones wife or girlfriend butt naked with a dick in her ass. They dont think its cheating but when a man cheats they give us hell. In their minds women cant do anything wrong. Let me ask you something, If you're married and your husband isnt satisfied with you and he goes out and finds some better pussy thats cheating, but if a woman has sex with someone other than her husband its not cheating. Why? Well he had a small dick she couldnt feel a thing. Maybe she wanted to see what it was like to be with another woman because its not cheating in a womans mind if theres no dick involved. Hey his dick was only in her ass so that dont count. The point is women lie so the next time your wife says shes going to see her mom chances are , shes sucking my dick.

Be a man

What are you smiling about? Youre one of those prettyboys who likes other boys , huh? Youre a peter eater , a pickle biter. I bet you drop the soap on purpose. Youre probably jonesing for a johnson now, huh? Well Id hate to break it to you but if you wanna be a man you cant be a little bitch . Oh and real men have their own dick to play with so they dont have to play with others. Your favorite meal is Suzy Johnson , light on Suzy , Heavy on Johnson.

This is my time

Hey , I just wanted to give a quick description of what this blog is. This blog is about making the r3ad3rs laugh . Ill be posting my own original material here.